Beyond imperfections

'There are million of suns in countless galaxies, all spinning around a single point. That point- is not you.'

I was thinking if i should private this post and i decided No, because this is my personal space. If you don't like, you leave.


Despite the optimistic nature of me, i've been rather depressed lately. I feel that i have let myself down. I'm losing the courage to try again, because i failed so hard. I don't blame anyone, just hope that i will be strong again.


I know that i've not been balancing my life well, but i hope that it's not too late. If you are reading my blog and feeling somewhat the same way, i urge you to pull yourself together and hang on. I'm not sure if i'm able to overcome all this shit, but i just wana you to know that life is never fair so look beyond the imperfections.


I tried to be brave, but for someone with high ego like me, it's hard to admit that i've been defeated. I couldn't accept the things i have lost - The close bond with my family & A friendship.


Yes, I didn't forget about my lousy results, but at least i'm able to make a change to it, even if it means spending one more year. I know I'm able to prioritise my life and work well with proper time management. I will do well.

This year, i've grown apart with mommy and daddy, and i feel so bad. As the only child of the family, they dote me more than anything else and never fails to provide the best for me. They may not be the richest parents but in my growing years, i've never felt that they don't love me enough. My daddy works in a japan company and often receives gifts from his foreign colleagues, but he will always bring it back for me and mommy. He loves the family, and had never did anything unfaithful or something that will hurt us. I've also got the best mommy that loves me more that herself. I still remember just last month, mommy went to vietnam with her school teachers and when she came back, her luggage was generally filled with presents for me, some for daddy and the family. Although the presents were not excatly my favourites but what i realised was she had not bought anything for herself. Yet, she looked so happy and contended. I don't really know how to describe my feelings then, but i defintely felt touched and bitter. Also, in this 18years, my parents have never forgotten my birthday. They will always prepare presents with a birthday card for me. It always begins with 'To our dearest daughter' and ends with 'From daddy and mommy who love you the most.' I know how much they want to spend this special day with me, but this year, i only had lunch with them. I think i'm a bad daughter.I know all this may just be simple things in your eyes, but it means the world to me. I know they will not be reading this but mommy and daddy, i just want you to know how much i love you. Your daughter didn't change, it's just that i don't know how to express myself, i'm sorry.



For people whom i've newly met (and like), I hope we will grow closer.
For people whom i've newly met (and dont like), I hope i wont see you again.
For people who love me, I appreciate it.
For people that I've neglected, i will spend more time with you.
For people who hate me, i feel sad for you that you missed ou an awesome girl.
For people who have 'like' my post, every 'like' keeps me happy for awhile, thanks sweetheart!!



Side note: Sorry for the long wordly post. I'm feeling much better now, and i hope tomorrow will be a better day for everyone.


                                 (deliberately)